Lessons I Learned from 10 Years Of Marriage

A decade ago, I “sang” my vows to my wife… yea, you read that right… I sang the vows song from the Jamie Foxx show and man, was I past nervous… I knew I sounded a hot mess, but in my mind, I was good… but it was all for a special day.

My wife and I had been together almost 5 years (with a lil break in there) before we got married. So all together, 15 years we’ve been together. There have been ups and downs, trial and tribulations throughout that time, but we fought thru it. Our marriage has not been perfect, but we vowed to stay true to each other and walk hand and hand thru whatever issue tested us. And 10 years later, we’re still hand and hand, strong gripped too.
So in honor of our 10 year anniversary, here some things I’ve learned since being married:
1) Marriage is not easy. You have made a promise to each other to keep the other happy thru thick and thin, sickness and health, til death do yall part. Throw in a life’s fancy work, expectations of family, friends, and society, and now the fun begins.
2) Communication and comprehension go a long way. Yes, there will be a misunderstanding here or there, but everyone is human. Most times, it’s better to lay things out on the table so the whole picture can be seen.
3) Compromising is very valuable in a marriage. Not only do husbands and wives view problems differently, but both come from 2 different backgrounds, so there will be different opinions on a lot of things, but there are ways to meet in the middle that can tickle both fancies.
4) Laugh with each other, not at each other. There will be days where the stress of life will try to keep you down, so if your spouse is kicking you while your down, that could add fuel to the fire.
5) This one is simple: Trust God.
Being married has brought me more joy and bliss than I could ever dream of. The Mrs. and I are more in love now and hopefully these few tips can help in your relationship. Happy Anniversary Babe, I can’t wait to see what the next 1000000000 years bring!
One love

GrowingUpKorean: Kicked out of the house…naked

A fun #TBT #GrowingUpKorean story yall…

So I was about 14/15 and I was a bit of a rebellion, probably more than I want to admit. I didn’t follow rules very well and I did not respond to any type of authority very well.

To start off, it was summer break from school and this particular summer, I was given a curfew… My mom worked nights, so I had been staying out late, doing things I shouldn’t have been doing, things that would have landed me in jail. But there was 1 night, my momma caught me out late, like 3 or 4 in the morning. When I seen her car underndeath the carport, I knew I was gonna be reintroduced to that golden belt. As soon as I came in the house, I locked eyes with my momma… she knew I knew I was in trouble but she didn’t say anything. She went into her room. I thought maybe, just maybe, she was more relieved I was home safe than wanting to kill me. So foolish me, went to sleep thinking everything was all good. But absolutely nothing was good.

When the sun came up, she woke me up with the golden belt in her hand… She’s yelling at me, telling me she was tired of me disrespecting her and not listening to her rules in her house.

She told me to strip down naked …that’s right… buck booty naked…

I said ‘uh, wait what? No’. That was the wrong response. She went to work until I started to take off my clothes. I was down to my tighty white-ies… my mama told me that I was brought into this world naked so I’m leaving naked.

Read More

Daddy’s Little Girl

The other night, I had the chance to take my daughter to a Daddy Daughter Dance, and even though mini me wasn’t feeling well, she toughed it out. I told her we didn’t have to go but she really wanted to, so we only stayed for a little while and we had a blast. About 1.5 hours into the dance, I could tell she was exhausted, so we called it a night.Later that night, I realized how determined she wanted to go to the dance to spend time with me. Her determination sparked mine to make sure I’m the best father I can be. So ever since then, I try to spend as much time with her as possibly. Whether it’s playing board games or hide and seek in the house, outside in the 95 degree sun setting up a bounce house or walking around downtown… I can only give my best. There will be a time where hanging out with daddy isn’t cool, but we’re not there yet. So I’ll continue to go on daddy daughter dates for as long as I can.So here’s a little something for my mini me. Feel free to share with your daughters!

Daddy’s Little Girl
By: Gerneal Black
From first sight, I knew I would love her forever
I knew she would change my life for the better
How much she means to me, she’ll never know
Even as she continues to fly, continues to grow
But the days are moving faster, I can’t slow down time
Everyday, I tell myself to cherish this little girl of mine
Teach her to be strong, hold your head high, and face your fears
Be proud, stand tall, and remember daddy will always be near
I’m giving my all at this thing call fatherhood
Giving her everything I know and think I should
Love, laughs, tears, independence, and a variety of skills
Respect, strength, a little pettiness and a whole lot of goodwill
So every moment I get, I will give her a kiss and a hug
Every night, I will make sure she’s tucked in, nice and snug
I’ll tell her “I love you”, while her I adore
For tomorrow, I’ll do it all again, and make sure she’s loved even more.

An Act of Kindness

The other night, we went out to eat for for my FIL’s birthday at a local buffet restaurant. As we sat down, my wife said it was a little cold so I told her I would go out to the car to see if I had a hoodie. I normally keep a hoodie in the car for times like this because she’s always cold in restaurants. As I went outside and started walking to the car, I noticed a man in the parking asking another couple for some change. They quickly said no and moved along there way. As I realized I did not have a hoodie in the car, I closed my door and now the man has now noticed me.

“Aye, my man, can I… oh sh*t, is that you G?”
To my surprise, it was an old high school friend. (We’ll call him “Buddy”). In high school, Buddy had the athletic talent to take him places, maybe even professional. He was well like and friendly. To see him in this state was truly disheartening but I couldn’t find the right words to reply with.
“Aye Buddy. Good to see you.” is all I could mustard up as I noticed how frail he had became. As those thoughts ran thru my head, Buddy replied “Dang man you picked up some weight. You still looking good though.”
We both chuckled.
Buddy then said “Hey, can I get a buck to get me something to eat? All I have is someone’s leftovers they didn’t want.”
I told him that I did not have any cash, but I would buy him dinner. His eyes lit up and I could see his spirits lift a little. I asked him if he wanted to sit and eat with us, but he politely declined and stated that he would get something to go. As we walked inside, I repeated in my mind what he said to me: “All I have is someone’s leftovers they didn’t want.” The more my mind broke down that statement, the more my heart hurt.
Buddy said, “I won’t get too much, just something to hold me over.” He asked the cashier for a to-go container and I stood there, watching him excitingly pick out food as if he was a child in a candy store. He came back to the register and I told the cashier I was paying for his meal and a drink. After Buddy got his drink, he came back and told me “G, I’ll never forget this for the rest of my life. You wouldn’t believe the way people treat me when I’m just trying to get something to eat. If I ever get back on my feet, I got you.” I believe he sincerely meant it.
I ask Buddy if what he got was enough and he smile, and said “This is good.” I told him to take care of himself and he bounced out of the restaurant as if he just won the lottery. To him, maybe a hot dinner was like winning the lottery.
I went and found my wife and she asked if I was good and I told her the situation and talked about it a little, but moved on as we were celebrating a birthday. But throughout the course of dinner, Buddy stayed in my thoughts. I sat there thinking, playing out different scenarios of what if’s and how’s and why’s…
I’m telling this story because I believe by fate it was meant for me to walk outside and experience this. It was a way to tell me to be more kind to people. Not be a fool, but be more kind. There are many ways to look at this experience, but for me, right now, I’m glad I was able to help, even if it was a little bit. I know Buddy and I know his story, so hopefully the small act a kindness will help brighten his day.

Have a great day and if you can, bless someone with an act of kindness. Small or big.

#TBT-GrowingUpKorean: Getting Rid of the Bad Blood

A lil throwback story for yall…


Question: Are all Asian mothers uncertified doctors? I ask because I got this treatment alot. When I was young, whenever I didn’t feel well, I got the “go lay down” treatment. But…. if I started feeling worse, throwing up, fever, etc, etc., I would received the worst home remedy ever.I remember the first time I got this “remedy”.

I was 8, and I wasn’t feeling well. Like fluish type not feeling well. The “lay down” treatment was making it worse. So…. My mother, the woman that she is, sat me down in the bathroom and started to massage my arm. She then wrapped my thumb with thread. She started near the bottom and wrapped it tight up halfway up my thumb. At this point, I was confused and intrigued because I hadn’t a clue what was going on. She got up, went to her room, got the rest of her sewing kit and came back. By now, my thumb is black-blue and throbbing and I told my mother, the person taking care of me, that it was starting to hurt.

Here are my mother’s words “SHUT UP!”

It was at this very moment I had realized I was making my mother late for work and she was mad, so I did what any other child would do and I shut up. My mother then proceeded to take a sewing needle out of her sewing kit, took her lighter, and heated up the point of the needle. Let me say that again, she took her SEWING NEEDLE out of her sewing kit, TOOK HER LIGHTER, and HEATED UP THE POINT OF THE NEEDLE. (you know, the best way to sterilize)
I immediately started to cry. I asked “What is that for?!?!” She answered with “SHUT UP!”. I did. She took the needle, wiped the tip off with an alcohol-drenched cotton ball, grabbed my hand, and tried to stick that hot needle in my thumb. I jerked and she missed the area she was aiming for and scratched my thumb with the needle. Now I have a hole in my thumb and bleeding and crying. She look at me with the look, you know “the look”, and she tried it again. I jerked and cried some more, screamed “What are you doing”. She replied “SHUT UP” and put a gorilla grip on my hand and proceed to stick this needle right below my fingernail! Simultaneously, I jerked and it went in further. She pulled it out and blood was just coming out of my thumb. She then took the same alcohol-drenched cotton ball to wipe the blood away, because alcohol doesn’t hurt on open wounds.

So at this point, I’m crying because my mother just played pin the needle in my thumb, I’m bleeding, and I’m sick. My mother told me to get ready for school. Yep, she made she go to school. She’s wasn’t going to miss work. I had no idea what just happened or why.

Result: It didn’t work. I had the flu and I stayed in the nurse’s office until she came and picked me back up and took me to the hospital… She was even more mad than before.

Side note: Now that I’m older and have access to Google, I see that other children with Asian parents have suffered the same as I did. This is a form of acupuncture and apparently, this procedure is to relieve indigestion and get rid of the “bad blood” causing the illness. Also, the picture is the scar on my thumb.

What crazy home remedies did yall get? Did yall get the needle in the finger to get rid of bad blood treatment?

Back to School Time!

It’s “Back to School” time!!! I love seeing the back to school pictures and (most) kids getting excited to go back to a new class, new teachers, new friends, and new learning opportunities. So each morning before the kids take off for school, let’s say a quick prayer:
“Thank You Lord, for the gracious gift of teachers and education. We ask You give them peace as they prepare to teach my child(ren). Keep them safe and protected from all harm. Fill them with patience and energy as they try to see the potential in my child and push them to reach it. We pray for their courage for putting on the shoes of a teacher.
We also come to you Lord to protect, not only my child, but all students. We pray You shield them with your arms everyday and return home safely. We pray You fill our child(ren) with discipline and the eagerness to learn new things, willingness to grow, and to be kind to each other. We pray for positive interactions, open ears, and listening minds. We ask that You give them the strength and courage to stand for what is right, not popular. We thank You for your everlasting love, and in Jesus name we pray, Amen.”
With everything going on in the world a prayer in the morning can start the day off on a good foot.
As most kids are excited to go back to school, some children are anxious as well. Will they make new friends? Will they like their new teacher? There are a million thoughts that go through their head when starting a new grade/school. So here are a few things to try and help your child throughout the school year:
  1. Help others if someone needs it
  2. Ask questions if you are unsure
  3. Own your wrongs
  4. Get back up if you fall
  5. Say “I’m sorry” if you make a mistake
  6. Say thank you
  7. Teach others
  8. Speak up if you see something wrong
What are some other tips you have children going off to school?
Some of these may help and some won’t, but it’s important as parents, we do our part at home so our children can succeed at school and in their future. Let all have a great school year!

Growing Up Korean: Lying to Your Kids


Every parent has lied to their child about something. From the tooth fairy to “I don’t know who ate your last piece of candy”, all parents have told a little lie here and there.

Well… let me tell you about the time my mother keep a lie going for more than a decade.

Quick Backstory –

We’ve had quite a few dogs in our childhood, most we had to give away and only 1 passing away of old age (RIP Snowie). When we were little, we had a doberman pinscher named “Pee Pee” (My sister name him). He was bad. He kept breaking loose from his chain, jumping the fence and running up the street. He also bit my mom. She gave him away to somebody. We had a dog named Spot, a white with black spots pekingese, who we had to give away when we PCS’d to Germany.

Then in the spring of 93 or 94, we got Brownie and Missy. Brownie was a timid dog, brown and frail. She looked like a chihuahua, but I’m pretty sure she was mixed. Missy on the other hand, was a fierce, hyper active, hound mix. She would eat her food and the food Brownie wouldn’t eat. She was greedy. She would chew on everything. She even caught birds out of the air… She was weird, but she was ours.

About a year later, we came home from school one day and Missy was nowhere to be found. We asked my mom where was Missy, my mom smoothly replied “Missy ran away. She dug a hole under the gate and ran away.” My sister and I were distraught. We went around the neighborhood looking for Missy. We couldn’t find her, no matter how loud we yelled her name….



So we went home sad, but hey, that’s life, right? And plus, we still had Brownie. – Well, that was until the summer came and went to see some family in TN. We took Brownie with us and our grandfather fell in love with her. So what did my parents do? They agreed to give our dog away to him. Who takes a child’s dog away from them and gives it to someone the dog doesn’t even know??? – But I digress….

Anyways, we ended up getting Snowie and she lived a good life and passed away as she got old. After her, we didn’t get another dog. (End backstory)

So fast forward to 2009/2010ish, we’re having a family gathering at my mom’s house and while going through the photo albums, we came across a picture of Snowie and starting talking about our old dogs. I ask my mom, “Hey Ma, you remember Brownie and Missy?”

I kid you not, my mom replied “Ugh, I hated that dog Missy. That’s why I let her go”.


“Ma, what?” my sister asked.

My mother started to laugh. In between her laughter, she said “That dog ate the air condition unit wires and I had enough. I picked her up, drove her behind Food Lion, and I kicked her out. Ooooohhhhh she was sooo bad.”

My sister’s and my jaws dropped. My sister replied “Ma, you told us that she ran away”.

My mother… my blood mother… looked us in our eyeballs and said “I lied”, laughed, and she went back in the kitchen.

We all laugh it now, but that’s pretty messed up.

Here’s the worst part…. SHE HELPED US LOOK FOR THE DOG! She drove us around the neighborhood in her green Lincoln Town car, with us hanging out the window screaming out “MISSY!” knowing that dog was long gone.

Have a great week ya’ll! And stop lying to your kids too! LOL

Chef BoyarBlack

A few months ago, my mother taught me how to make egg rolls. Ever since then, I’ve put off making them by myself. Not only because they were time consuming, but also I didn’t know if they were going to taste as good as my mother’s. I then realized, my egg rolls will never be as good as my mother’s, so “why waste the energy of being fearful on something I can’t control?” (read that again).So this past weekend, I went Chef BoyarBlack mode. I chopped up some veggies, seasoned them, bought the wrong noodles, used them anyways, stuffed and wrapped away. Popped out the deep fryer and fried away. Making egg rolls is time consuming so I see why my mother doesn’t make them as much. I’m grateful she took the time to teach me and I shouldn’t have wait so long to learn. But better late than never. They ended up turning out pretty good.I’ve never been a fan of cooking growing up. The first time I cooked, I burnt spaghetti-o’s (left them on the stove too long). But my mother was the cook of the family and her restaurant so I didn’t “have” to cook. She fussed at me for not learning how to cook or wanting to cook, but it wasn’t until I was in high school before I starting fixing food for myself. So I take the lesson of not being able to cook at a young age and turn it into an opportunity to:1) Help my wife out around the house if she gets busy with life2) Teach mini me to make and cook foodNow, I got my grill, my smoker, and my egg roll recipe, so now I can get down with the get down. Hopefully soon I’ll make some more eggrolls, with maybe a new filling. Maybe.GB

Smoking Food

Now, I’m not a professional or anything close to a chef, but I do consider myself a foodie. So when my wife bought me a smoker for Father’s Day, I was super excited. I knew right away, chicken and beef were going to be my number 1 choices to start with, and let me tell you it was easy.

I forgot to get the before pic, but this was my during pic.

Smoking food is pretty easy. “Low and slow” is the motto I’ve been hearing so that’s what I did. Cooked @250° for 2.5 hour, making sure chicken was at least 165° internal and the same for well done steak. Both turned out great.

So prepare to see more smoked foods in the near feature as I plan on smoking everything. (Food only)